just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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