Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
