Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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