Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize