the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
