She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
