i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
