I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
