eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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