I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
