We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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