Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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