The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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