New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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