why didn't you poke me back
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
