Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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