2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
