When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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