I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
