it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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