i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
