I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
