I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
