You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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