Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
