i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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