dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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