so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
