as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
