my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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