i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Drunk is a universal language darling
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
