This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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