Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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