i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
