Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
