I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
