I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
