Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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