We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
