And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
