Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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