Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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