Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
