careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
