She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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