At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
