After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
