Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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