Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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