Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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