the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
