I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize