I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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