found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
worst night to have a conscience
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
