We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
