I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
