I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This baby is an asshole
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
