i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
